Who is the Real You?

I love celebrity impressions.  There is something so humorous about watching one actor try and play another actor.  In fact, one of my favorite Tonight Show segments is a bit called the Wheel of Impressions.  Here is a classic – Jimmy Fallon and Kevin Spacey doing impressions with a Halloween theme.  A good impression is a powerful tool.  Playing someone you are not can yield you a big payday in Hollywood.  In fact, acting as a profession can provide you a great income…however acting as a lifestyle will provide insecurity for your soul.

Unfortunately, most of us struggle with insecurity. Perhaps it is a result of a tabloid and social media hungry culture, or perhaps it is just a reality of human nature. Insecurity has a way of showing up most often in our interactions with others.  Many of us walk around with a fear of being truly known, because we believe if people truly knew us they would not accept us.  We become so averse to showing people our true self, so we project to those around us something other than our true self…fueling our insecurity.

You see insecurity is the gap between what people see of us and who we really are. The greater the gap between your projected self and your true self; the greater your insecurity will be.

There are 2 main ways we cultivate insecurity in our soul.  Consider which one is the greater struggle for you:

  • Overreaching – this is when you act better than you really are; you project yourself to be more competent, experienced, spiritual or intelligent than you really are.
  • Sandbagging – this is when you act worse than you really are; you project yourself to be less competent, experienced or intelligent than you really are.

Whether you attempt to make yourself look better or worse, energy is wasted to project a persona that is different from your true selves. You cannot help but struggle with insecurity and the concern that you will be found out.

Projecting yourself to be someone you are not can feel a bit like a victimless crime. Often we believe that projecting a false self will actually help those around us. Impersonating someone you are not will eventually create a lot of hurt in your world:

It hurts your results – it’s like building a house on a foundation of sand and thinking you are building on concrete. The best results are possible when a team of people invest themselves fully – not holding anything back but being honest about what they can and cannot do.

It hurts your teammates – people want to know the real you. We take 2 hours to disengage from life and watch actors play a role in a movie. We spend holidays, celebrations and meaningful time with real people. Eventually people around you can tell when you are hiding and unwilling to show your true self.

It hurts your soul – Attempting to hide who you really are (for better or for worse) creates a battle within – it is a discontent with your identity. How can your soul experience peace when you would rather be someone else?

It rejects the intentional creation of God – When you act like someone you are not it is a way of saying, “God you got this one wrong!” We read in places such as Psalm 139 that God was very intentional when He created us. If God made us with great intentionality, why do we believe we need to make adjustments?

Just be yourself. Conquer insecurity today by closing the gap between who people see and who you really are.

7 comments

    1. That is a great question! The short answer is to find at least a small group of people that you will allow to know the real you. No fake self, no acting like someone you are not

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Tim Keller has a great short read called, “The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness”. This book helped me battle insecurity because I was expecting too much of myself from my ego. I was disappointed in myself because I want to be perfect, which led to feelings of insecurity and depressing thoughts. The truth is, I thought I was awesome and was discovering I wasn’t. Verses like this bridged the gap for me, 2 Corinthians 12:9-11

      “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me… Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

      I have become foolish; you yourselves compelled me. Actually I should have been commended by you, for in no respect was I inferior to the most eminent apostles, even though I am a nobody.

      Thanks Paul for sharing that with us forever! God provides strength for us in more than just temptation, it’s all our weaknesses!

      I hope this helps you like it helped me.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. FYI, I’m in a volunteer group at Elevation Church and I share your blog post each week with two volunteer team leaders. So, a few weeks ago, Pastor Steven Furtick referred to EGR people, so either he read your blog post or someone shared the information from it. Either way, it was referenced!
    So thanks!!!

    Like

  2. Cory, I’m blown away by your great blog posts and by the feeling that you are in my head! II am a Small Group Pastor at Hope Community Church in Raleigh, NC. You have inspired me to write helpful blogs for my leaders. I was thinking about what my first post would be at lunch today and insecurity was leading the way in my mind., with tweetable phrases liek this, “Are you insecure? Do like Jesus, the most secure person to ever live, and use Scripture for your battles. #40Days #FightLiesWithTheWord”.

    Anyway, you are always one step ahead of what God is telling me (I’ve posted this before) so I don’t know if we’re tuned into the same kind of people, same discoveries, if this is confirmation of what God is doing in the church right now, but I love it. I’ll be sharing this article for sure! Keep abiding in him brother!

    Like

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